


Doves

by revvoen



Series: Ivan and Alyosha songfics [1]
Category: Brat'ya Karamazovy | Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Genre: Drama, Gen, Out of Character, Psychology, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25790122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revvoen/pseuds/revvoen
Summary: No longer a child, let the flower grow,Let the broken heal, the thing that tiredly I let go.
Relationships: Alexei "Alyosha" Fyodorovich Karamazov & Ivan "Vanya" Fyodorovich Karamazov
Series: Ivan and Alyosha songfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876348
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Ivan and Alyosha songfics





	Doves

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on English language, so please be patient :) I don't know it very well, but I decided to try.  
> P. S. aesthetlouse thank you so much for your corrections!  
> Soundtrack: Ivan And Alyosha — Doves

"I'm an outcast person, Alyosha." 

Ivan took the cup and brought it up to his lips, drinking. Brothers were sitting in a tavern more than hour — the tea was already cold but Alyosha didn't worry about it — he worried that Ivan will go to Moscow tomorrow, and this day was a single day they were spending together. Occasionally — if Alyosha wasn't walking nearby the tavern and Ivan didn't notice him, he would probably just leave without saying a word.

_"When we were younger we had time"._

Alyosha has already known, why his brother had called himself an outcast person — either he can read people like a book or Ivan was honest with him way more than Alyosha could guess. However, his own thoughts and the words of Zosima had been said in cloister suggested that some idea has been settled in Ivan's head now. From their conversation he understood sorrowfully that the idea was awful because of its godlessness and insolence.

_"We had the rest of our lives"._

Alyosha was feeling shame — Ivan catched him on his words so accurate that he started to think he really wanted someone to be dead — especially the person who killed a boy by means of hungry dogs in sight of mother. 

"To be shot", he said no so long ago, and despite he called his words an absurdity, it wasn't matter for Ivan.

Sure, Ivan was glad he found a support in it. In some questions it maybe was, but the violence was a taboo for Alyosha — until Ivan started demagogy, vainly trying to make his younger brother think like him. Alyosha nervously clenched fists scratching pale skin by nails and looked at Ivan. 

"That's why are you trying to make unhappy everyone around you?" 

Ivan amazedly recoiled with his face turned white because of irrational fear.

"You are god's fool, Alyosha. Don't you even try to understand me", he said unemotionally in an attempt to save his composure.

 _"We were changing our minds  
About anything and all". _

"Why didn't you talk to me during these months? What was I supposed to do?", Alyosha felt an unclear anger burning his chest, "I started watching you. Mitya said you are a tomb so I wanted to make sure you are. But now... Now I see, which thoughts make you behave like this."

Alyosha wiped off the tears and murmured something Ivan couldn't hear.

"My dear Alyosha", he was confused. From white his face was slowly turning red, and Ivan moved up closer to brother, putting hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe I make everyone unhappy, but you are the person I want to be blissful all the time", he smiled wearily, "Please be."

Alyosha suddenly laughed hysterically but became calm at the moment, fondly leaning against brother. 

"You know, sometimes I think you are a madman, Ivan."

"I think so too."

His left shoulder got heavier, Ivan hided an expression of pain on face.

_"I know we'll go when you and I decide to stay"._


End file.
